dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
