You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize