dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
