Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
