which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
