well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
