please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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