When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
