I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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