I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
