you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
