We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
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I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
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After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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