This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
