ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
