is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
