Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
