Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i love accidental penises.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
