She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
