didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
