I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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