margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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