the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
