That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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