I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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