Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
