it was like eating out sand paper
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
