I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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