Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
