I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
