I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
