Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
