Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
