On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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