i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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