it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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