This is not my ceiling
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
