I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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