isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
