He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
