I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
