The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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