you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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