i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
