I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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