I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
