My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize