Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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