The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize