You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
