girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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