i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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