guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
