well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
