omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I would fuck him just for his dog
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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