I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
