I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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