can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
